Are You Lonely or Just Not Listening to Yourself?

Hey!

This Sunday, let’s talk about a topic that quietly touches all of us: loneliness.

But instead of running from it, I chose to sit with it.

And ask it questions—like Socrates would.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

❓ What is loneliness, really?

Loneliness isn’t just about being without people. It’s when your thoughts turn against you.

The mind replays guilt, regrets, mistakes—and you start punishing yourself for things long past.

Being alone is different.

Being alone is being with yourself, not against yourself.

> Loneliness is when your mind controls you.

Aloneness is when you control your mind.

❓ What causes loneliness?

You might expect me to say “lack of connection” or “not understanding spirituality.”

But to me, it was something much more personal.

My story:

In school, I had a best friend. We did everything together—even got punished together when we forgot homework. I shared everything with him.

But one day, he disappeared. No goodbye. No closure.

And though I was surrounded by classmates, I felt empty. That was the first time I truly felt what loneliness meant.

> Loneliness isn’t caused by being alone.

It’s caused by the absence of someone you deeply connect with.

❓ How does loneliness affect your mind?

When loneliness hits, it doesn’t whisper—it roars.

You start thinking:

“I don’t belong here.”

“I’ve ruined everything.”

“I have no purpose.”

Thoughts that aren’t even true begin to feel like facts.

It’s like being a drug addict handed medicine. At first, it hurts. It burns.

But if you survive it—you become the next Seneca.

❓ Can someone feel lonely even in a relationship?

Yes.

You can lie beside someone and still feel like a stranger.

You can laugh in a group and still feel unheard.

> It’s not about who’s around you.

It’s about who sees you.

Connection is not measured by presence, but by presence of mind and heart.

❓ Does social media increase loneliness?

Yes—and I’ve lived it.

I used Facebook from 2015 to 2019. Got bored.

Then came Twitter—where I grew a writing community with over 8,000 followers. I loved it.

But eventually, I left. The rise of nudity on the platform made my brain feel sick.

Now I’m building my brand on Instagram. It’s a great tool—but also addictive. The reels never stop.

And the constant comparison game silently eats your peace.

> Social media connects your screen, but often disconnects your soul.

❓ How do I deal with loneliness now?

I don’t escape it.

I sit with it. Write with it. Learn from it.

When I stopped relying on others to fix the emptiness, I began filling it with purpose.

> I made loneliness my teacher.

I turned isolation into introspection.

❓ Can loneliness be a good thing?

Yes, if you let it.

It’s your invitation to come back to yourself.

It’s your call to grow inward.

> Loneliness, when embraced, becomes solitude.

And solitude is not weakness—it’s power.

❓ Who is most affected?

Everyone.

Young people searching for identity.

Older people feeling forgotten.

Even the most “popular” ones who are dying to be understood.

> Loneliness doesn’t care who you are.

It only asks: When was the last time you felt truly seen?

❓ What would Socrates say?

He’d sit beside you and ask:

> “Are you truly alone—or just afraid of meeting yourself?”

Socrates believed truth lives inside us.

And when you begin to know yourself—really know yourself—

You’ll realize: you were never truly alone.

You were just waiting for your own company.

Final Reflection:

> Loneliness is not your enemy.

It’s a mirror.

Not to punish you—

But to introduce you…

to yourself.

Until next Sunday,

–Mairaj Ahmed

Writer of thoughts that talk back.